


I don't remember you looking any better, but then again, I don't remember you

by Saltylocks



Series: A story about him [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mentions of Big Rico's Pizza, Mentions of Erika, Mentions of the Moonlight All-Nite Diner, Omg it's so fluffy I'm gonna die, Remember/Forget, Some Swearing, Title inspired by John Mayer, Weird Biology, Weird Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 14:39:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4791017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltylocks/pseuds/Saltylocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Apache Tracker and the Man in the Tan Jacket experiments with memory and light. A little angsty and very fluffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't remember you looking any better, but then again, I don't remember you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back from my big summer hiatus! 
> 
> Really happy about being back home and not working at my internet limited summer job. I have listened a lot to John Mayer this summer, just to cope, so I thought the title was fitting. I mean, these lyrics: 
> 
> Who says I can't be free  
> From all of the things that I used to be?  
> Rewrite my history  
> Who says I can't be free?
> 
> It's been a long night in New York City  
> It's been a long night in Baton Rouge  
> I don't remember you looking any better  
> But then again, I don't remember you”
> 
> Thanks for reading and for staying with me thus far. It means a lot<3

“I think I remember... Something like... Forest? Everest?”

The Man in the Tan Jacket sighed in frustration.

“Joshua Palmer,” he said, slowly. “I told you ten minutes ago.”

“Alright,” the Apache Tracker muttered. 

The man in the native american head dress gave Joshua a peculiar look, scrunching his eyes and his nose together, trying to remember his name. It made him look even hotter than before, and Joshua couldn't help but smile a little under the scrutiny.

They had been, or rather Joshua had been, experimented to try make the Apache Tracker remember his name. He also tried to discern what was left in his memory after they had spent their whole day together. According to his new friend, he could not remember doing anything special, other than spending the day deep in thought.

“I made you breakfast, we went for lunch at Big Rico's, and after the park we went to the Moonlight All-Nite Diner”.

“Yes... yes, I remember all of that,” the Apache Tracker said, furrowing his brow. “We met an Erika, didn't we? And you said... in the park, you said...”

The Tracker closed his eyes in an effort to focus his thoughts, which of course was a bad idea. If he closed his eyes for too long, even just a minute, it was enough for the Tracker to lose him again. And it made Joshua lean in and put a hand on his knee to keep him, to not let him forget again. The Apache Tracker looked up, squinted down at his outstretched hand and up at his very close face. 

“You said you loved me,” he said, unsure, like it might just have been wishful thinking on his part.

“I did,” Joshua said.

“And I said I love you too,” the Apache Tracker whispered, a little smile in the corner in his mouth.

“It was a pretty good day,” Joshua murmured back, his skin softly starting to glow.

“I...” the Apache Tracker said, and swallowed. 

Joshua stayed where he was, waiting for whatever would happen next.

“I remember,” he whispered and finally closed the distance between them.

~.o.O.o.~

“It must be weird for you,” the Apache Tracker said, tracing a line down Joshua's stomach and circling his belly button. “It must be like living in an old people's home. You meet them every day and they always look at you like you're new.”

Joshua just laughed a little.

“Yeah.”

“I've said that before, haven't I?” the Tracker said, pouting.

“In some way or another,” Joshua said and traced kisses from his shoulder to his jawline. “And my answer is always that you're worth it.”

“I'm not trying to say I'm special, I just meant in general.”

“Yes, but... I don't care if any one else remembers, you know?”

Joshua trailed off and he looked up at the feathers on the Apache Tracker's head.

“You are not just another warm body to sleep next to when I feel lonely, Jamie. When I say I love you, it means something different, and even if you don't, I know.”

Joshua welled up, and his glow waned a little, turned a darker purple. 

“Sorry.”

He pulled away, but the Apache Tracker was having none of it, grabbing his arm and pressing him back against him. Where he touched, the skin of the Man in the Tan Jacket turned brighter, and soon his lover was covered in splotches of pink and orange, quivering under the warm touches. This was something the Apache Tracker remembered to have come in contact with before and he marveled at how the dim lights spaced out to form little dots, like shining stars moving under the dark skin. He coaxed them to burn brighter and the touches made Joshua giggle softly. 

The Apache Tracker would never tell anyone (who were he to tell, when the whole town hated him?) but he loved touching Joshua's skin more than anything in the world. The Man in the Tan Jacket was such a mystery, and he loved being the only one who knew him, even if that made him selfish. They were both outcasts, and to have someone to share in the loneliness was more than he'd ever could have hoped for. Joshua was such a humble, interesting person and the Apache Tracker really thought himself lucky, blinking down at his exposed body. Joshua was lanky and tough, and when the Tracker had touched him the first time he had thought his exterior cold and lifeless. Then he had felt the effects he had on the other man, how the dark brown skin had quickly turned warm under his fingers, and how the light had raised to the surface like little stars. It had been scary at first, but after that he'd somehow known it wasn't dangerous. Joshua had looked so fantastically debauched, his graphite hair ruffled, shirt open, his normally light eyes half closed with emotion.

“Please don't stop,” he had said then, and the Joshua in bed with him echoed the memory, pleading for him again now, still just as lovely as that first time. 

The Apache Tracker grinned in the dark, happy to be able to remember the event.

“Make me,” he teased. 

Joshua turned his head up at him, flushed and annoyed. He crawled as close as he could and hugged the Tracker tightly before shifting the man in the native american head dress under him without much effort. 

“Touch me,” he demanded, his voice a low, playful growl. 

The lights had grown more vivid, lightening their faces, and the Apache Tracker could feel his heart starting to beat faster. Joshua's eyes were charcoal and his teeth seemed to not fit in his mouth anymore, pointy and sharp, and his skin blazed like fire, dots of bright pink and orange like a sunrise. The Apache Tracker swallowed, more not sure if he should be frightened or amazed. The light seemed to seep from his companion in flame like formations, almost like arms, tracking his sides and grazing his skin. He wondered if he should try to get away from them, he could feel himself getting goosebumps were the light trailed against him. He felt powerless and trapped, but he didn't want to stop. He could feel the light warming up his body, pressing at him at all sides, and it tickled when it pressed at and maybe through his skin, he wasn't sure anymore, he just felt really relaxed, like he was laying in a really hot bath. His neither regions suddenly made themselves known, and he wondered if this had happened before and he just didn't remember. It didn't matter because soon he only knew that he desperately needed to move, move, move... He helplessly shivered and ground up against the warmth and to his surprise he found something solid there, something to press against, and it was wonderful and he really, really wished he had taken his pants off. 

And then the moment was over, just as quickly as it had started. The light faded and the Apache Tracker found himself lying across the bed, sweating and panting, staring into the dark of night. Joshua was gone and the man in the native american headdress shiver from the loss of contact.

“Josh?” he whispered. “Hey, where did you go?”

Something moved in the corner of his room, a gasp of air, like when someone tries really hard not to cry. The Apache Tracker sat down in the edge of his bed, as close as he could without crowding his friend.

“Hey, listen,” he said, rubbing his neck and trying not to think how good it had felt until a minute ago. “Did I do something?”

The labored breaths stopped for a second before getting louder. The Apache Tracker caught a glimpse of pointy white teeth and impossible big eyes. 

“I can't... just give me... a second,” Joshua whispered.

The Man in the Tan Jacket was scared and mortified. He had always been able to control his darker sides. When he had destroyed Hazel's suitors, or the Hooded Figures in the Post Office... that's were they were supposed to come out: his teeth, his power, his darker feelings. They were only meant for destruction, not for people he wanted to keep, so why was he... 

He had let it out a little before, just for the heck of it, because of how good it felt, and because James didn't seem to mind it. This time had felt no different, at first, but then he had lit up more than before, and he could feel his teeth bite into his lips, and his tongue split, and the worst part was how good it felt and how he didn't want it to stop, jut keep going. He had felt his body against the Tracker and how the Tracker had been moaning against him and how his light had been almost solid, forming around and melting into the skin of his lover. He hadn't know that he could do that, just that it had felt good, and that he had forgotten anything but to get into the warm body under him, let him inside and curl up around his heart, maybe just take over and enter his veins, his nerves, and never feel cold again...

That was when James had moved, and it woke the human part of Joshua up. The shock dragged him away in a couple of milliseconds, the disgust making him back until he hit the wall behind him. He really was a monster! He should never have gotten together with the Tracker in the first place, it wasn't safe. He wasn't safe. James would never trust him after this. He would have to go back to the library and hang out with the Faceless Woman for all of eternity. Maybe it would be for the best... Yes. He would just have to keep still and wait until the Tracker forgot him again, and then he would be gone. 

“Josh?” he heard the Tracker say. 

Joshua kept still and quiet. It was a little unusual for people to remember him this long after he had been out of sight. The other man seemed to realise where he was and breathed a bit heavily as he moved closer. He was probably scared, and why shouldn't he be? The Man in the Tan Jacket braced himself for the sound of his lover running past him, or screaming. What did he do when he got scared, anyway? 

“Listen,” the Apache Tracker said, sounding a little hoarse, “did I do something?”

Now Joshua wanted to scream. He might had almost killed him, and _he_ wanted to know if he had done something wrong? Did that mean he hadn't felt... weird? That he wasn't hurt? Joshua felt this weight fall off his shoulders, so relieved that nothing bad had happened that he couldn't get a single sentence out. 

The Apache Tracker got down from the bed and sat next to Joshua. He waited maybe five seconds before he put his arms around the skinny man. Joshua waited waited maybe ten before he leaned into the shoulder of the solemn Slavic looking guy and stayed like that until his body stopped trembling.

“Hey, hey,” the Tracker whispered. “I'm here.”

“Sorry,” Joshua said when he could speak again. “I just never... that has never happened before.”

“No, I get that,” the Apache Tracker said, smiling a little. “Will you get back into bed? I know you hate the cold, and this floor is pretty chilly.”

“Sure.”

Joshua crawled in between the sheets, pulling them as high as they could go. The Tracker seemed to see his unease and patted him on the head.  
“I'll just go make some tea, it will warm you right up. Earl Grey with milk sound good?”

Joshua looked up into those warm, trusting eyes and almost teared up again. The Tracker would forget him before the water had boiled. He could make some of his own later though. It was fine.

“Sure,” he said again, faking a sleepy smile.

“Coming right up,” the Apache Tracker said softly and walked off, quietly as always. Joshua sighed and burrowed his face into the pillow. He wasn't human, how could he ever had thought himself that? Maybe he could stay the night at least, and be off in the morning? Some tea did sound nice, he could make some for himself in the morning...

The Man in the Tan Jacket had dozed off when the Apache Tracker was back with a little tray with two mugs on it. He placed the mugs on the bed side table and grabbed one for himself. 

“He looks exhausted,” the Apache Tracker thought. “I shouldn't wake him up.”

He drank his own cup of tea and left the other one on the tray, before laying down and put his arms around his lover. The light snores lulled him to sleep with a smile on his face.

~.o.O.o.~

Joshua woke up first, the light dripping of a rare desert rain hitting the window next to his head. He yawned and stretched, and in doing so, he noticed another set of arms around his mid rift. As the events of last night made him cringe, he slowly tried to ease himself out of the firm grip. It was better to let the Apache Tracker sleep and not remember Joshua ever being a part of his life when he woke up. 

“Let him have a quiet morning and not one where he has to meet a strange man lying in his bed,” Joshua thought and reluctantly tugged a little harder at the hands clasped over his chest. 

He had really preferred just staying in the Apache Tracker's arms all day, but he knew mornings were delicate to people, that was why he always had snuck out before the other man woke up. Today, it seemed, was harder than usual, and just not because of his own resistance.

“Stay,” the Apache Tracker mumbled in his sleep. “Stay.”

Joshua stilled. Was he waking up?

“Stay,” the Tracker mumbled again, and Joshua did, astonished as the Apache Tracker opened one of his eyes and peered up at him.

“You better just be getting up to go pee or something.”

The Tracker closed his eyes again and pulled Joshua closer in a uncoordinated hug. Joshua tensed up, waiting for the realization, the screaming and pushing away. The Tracker opened his eyes again.

“Are you thinking about last night?” he asked, carefully, and propped himself up on one hand. “Because I'm fine, I swear.”

Joshua just stared at him. Was he for real? Was he not going to...

“What's... what's my name?” he whispered.

James looked at him blankly for a second, almost amused, before it dawned on him.

“Josh,” he said, breathless, “Joshua Palmer, Jesus H. Christ...”

Joshua just nodded, chest swelling and rendering him speechless. The Apache Tracker touched his own lips and then put his hand over Joshua's cheek.

“I remember.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments (and kudos). 
> 
> Just, you know, just throwing it out there. 
> 
> *wink wink*


End file.
